House of Mirth by Edith Wharton

“Ah,” she [Lily] cried, “for all your fine phrases you’re really as great a coward as I am, for you wouldn’t have made one of them [sayings] if you hadn’t been so sure of my answer (Wharton, 58).”

Not unlike Selden, we all want to be certain of our crush’s feelings. If we put ourselves on the line, we want to reap the rewards of a long, wonderful relationship. Whether it is a high school romance or a marriage, we are mortified of putting our feelings because there is a greater possibility of being hurt beyond repair. Rejection is a part of all of life’s aspects; however, if we can, we avoid the damage of refusal. For example, Lily blatantly asks if Selden would marry her albeit in a joking fashion, but he replies, “No, I don’t want to- but perhaps I should if you did!” The latter acknowledges that he cannot give Lily the riches and life that she demands from society. She would have rejected his invitation to spend their lives in unity, and so, he rejected it first. She knows the fierce fire in the heart of Selden and recognizes the returning love for him. Nevertheless, she does not consider him for marriage because he works to sustain his belongings. We, like Selden, deem ourselves to be in a position that we cannot easily break free. The stakes appear so high in either case, but so are the rewards.